Wednesday, 29 December 2010

Panto

The Keelby Cricket Club's annual pantomime this year is Treasure Island. It is being performed at the Keelby Village Hall on January 28th to February 5th. The Cricket Club has asked us to sell tickets for them again - see our Panto webpage for all the detail. Which reminds me, why are pirates called "pirates" - because they AAAArrrrrrrrrr.

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Tuesday, 28 December 2010

Happy New Year

We had a great time at Christmas - thanks to everyone who supported our adventure with the Fresh Free-Range Turkeys!
We're now getting into 2011 mode - more news on this later......!

David & Jayne and everyone.

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Monday, 20 December 2010

Guaranteed Lottery Millionaires - December 24th

Camelot have a special Millionaire's Raffle on Christmas Eve - 25 lucky ticket holders will get £1million each, guaranteed!

This is the most millionaires created in a single night by the National Lottery since it began in 1994.

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Sunday, 12 December 2010

Keelby Waits

There will be carol singing outside the Village Stores, Keelby, in the morning of Saturday 18th December. Do come along and support everyone!

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Christmas draws closer

The snow is now melting a little, and life is returning to normal. Our coal man's bagging machine broke down, but we now have coal again, and all our other supplies are back to normal.


David put on his Santa suit at Keelby on Saturday Dec 11th, and invited customers to pull a Christmas cracker with him. On Sunday Dec 12th Jayne made mulled wine for the Limber carol service, and she and David did some of the readings. It's good to get back to the important stuff - Christmas! 

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Friday, 10 December 2010

Traveller lost in the snow 1775

From "The Life of a Great Sportsman" - a life of John "Maunsell" Richardson, written by his sister Mary 1919.

(This is a family tale. In 1775 Mr William Richardson, Maunsell's ancestor, had an unexpected visitor. Mr W Richardson was a gentleman farmer, and had a racehorse called Conqueror. Maunsell, Limber's greatest son, won the Grand National twice in the 1870s, and became an MP. - David)

"...There is an especially characteristic story told of the jovial of Conqueror (i.e. W. Richardson - David), which under similar circumstances could readily be accredited to his fun-loving descendant who forms the subject of this book. One wild dark night, in the winter say of 1775, or thereabout, when the snow lay thickly on the ground, and was still falling, a belated traveller riding along the road from Caistor saw the cheerful lights gleaming in the wide front of the old house at Limber, and riding up to the side door, rapped loudly thereon with his whip, demanding a night’s lodging, and to see Mine Host. Mr. Richardson, who at the time was sitting in his study, which adjoined the side door, heard this unexpected knock and demand, and at once came rightly to the conclusion that the stranger had mistaken his house for the inn for which he was evidently seeking. Being the soul of hospitality, however, and determined to rescue this unexpected guest, at any cost, the horrors of the night, he brushed aside the astonished servant, and courteously invited the traveller to enter.

One can readily imagine what a comfort the sight of Mr. Richardson’s smiling red face would carry to the cold-stricken stranger, and how he would hug himself for joy at the thought that not only had he found the inn he sought, but also one of the jolliest and cheeriest landlords imaginable into the bargain.

One can also imagine, too, how Mr. Richardson, having let the servants into the secret, with orders that it was to be strictly kept until the morning, persuaded his Dame to let him have his joke, and to absent herself from the evening meal, whilst he played his part as host, and (as was often the custom in those days) did the entertaining at supper himself. Then the racy stories he would tell, and how he would draw the stranger out all the time, chuckling all the while when he thought what an awakening it would be on the following morning, and his visitor’s confusion when he found out the trick that had been played upon him.

The story goes that Mr. Richardson brought out a bottle of his famous port, famous even in those days when port wine was the wine of the time, and men vied with each other in obtaining and keeping in their cellars the very best. One can see, too, when morning dawned, the unfortunate stranger coming down to breakfast, and instead of an inn repast, finding the stately figure of Dame Richardson, seated behind the historic Urn won for her by Conqueror and now smoking away for all was worth. We can picture his confusion - his apologies.

Whatever passed, it is tolerably certain, that with such a hospitable couple, the stranger would soon find that he had only exchanged his experiences of Limber House from the it as an inn to the joy of it as a country house, where he ever would be a welcome guest. And from all I have heard he and his host and hostess remained the best of friends to the end of their lives.


There is an old and trite saying: “Be careful to entertain strangers, for by so doing, men have entertained angels unawares.” And such, by all accounts, seems to have been the case in this instance...."

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Wednesday, 8 December 2010

Another Xmas Joke

What happens if you eat all the Christmas decorations? You get tinselitus!

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Friday, 3 December 2010

Xmas Jokes

Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper who sold his soul to Santa?

How do zebras get their Xmas presents? From a Santalope.


How do rhinos get their Xmas presents? From Elephanta Claus.

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Wednesday, 1 December 2010

Heavy Snow

In the afternoon of November 30th there was very heavy snowfall, with drifting in the wind. This caused some disruption to supplies - we didn't get any morning or evening papers on Wednesday 1st, and David had to walk from Limber to Keelby to open up in the morning. The National Lottery network was off line all morning, but our milk supplies did get through.

Thanks to all the friends who helped us get through all this! We hope normal services will be resumed asap!

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Saturday, 27 November 2010

Jonathan Leaves Village Stores

It is with a little sadness we must tell everyone that Jono is leaving us at the end of November. He has served on the counter at Keelby since March 2006, and has always been a great friend to us.  He has left college, and is training hard in his weekday job -  so he has decided the time has come to give up his Sunday morning shifts with us. We do wish him all the very best for the future.

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Friday, 26 November 2010

Keelby Primary School Xmas Fayre

Jayne and her friend Carmen had a necklace and bracelet stand at the Keelby Primary School Christmas Fair on Friday 26th November. They had a really great time! David bought a scarf, got his nose painted red and drank some mulled wine

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Saturday, 13 November 2010

Fresh Christmas Turkeys

Leaflets are coming round Keelby, Limber, Grasby and Kirmington during the week, telling everyone about our super fresh, free-range Turkeys, and other special festive treats. Watch out for them coming through your letter-box!

 Link to our website: Village Stores

Wednesday, 10 November 2010

High Treeson at Great Limber

Jayne and David had been given a Christmas tree to stand above the shop door at Great Limber. The tree was free, so long as they collected it. With lots of help from our friend Rob, David hauled the tree up onto the little flat roof above the shop door, and left if laying on its side.

Next day David thought it would be fairly easy to set it upright on his own. What a mistake to make!

This must be the biggest tree we have ever had, and actually lifting it from horizontal was quite a feat. In the end, David tied string round the trunk near the top of the tree, then lashed the base to the bracket supporting the centre of the shop sign. By standing on the stub end of the trunk and hauling on the top string at the same time, he managed to yank the tree up. All was going well until the top of the tree got tangled in the telephone wires, then the whole thing came to a shuddering halt.

Hanging on for grim death, David shouted for Jayne to come and help, but she was blissfully unaware of what was going on!

David found that each time he jolted the tree, it moved a little further up the telephone wire, so after an awfully long time the tree sprang free of the cable. The next job was to lash the tree to the shop's sign, and attach a couple of guy ropes 2/3 of the way up the trunk.

At this point the screws that held the bracket supporting the sign and the tree pulled out of the wall. A very awkward moment! Fortunately, the tree was balanced vertically, so David was able to abandon it, jump back through the upstairs bathroom window, and rummage for new screws downstairs in the shed.

David is not good at DIY, and had managed to burn out his electric drill making holes in the kitchen floor a few months earlier, so he had to prise the old plugs out and stick new ones in the existing holes, then insert new screws and hope for the best.

So far everything is holding. But severe gales are forecast for the rest of the week. Watch this space, folks!

Sunday, 7 November 2010

Euro millions 12th November 10 UK £1million raffle winners!

We've got bunting and posters up at the Keelby shop, and we're all wearing special tee-shirts, to tell everyone about the special Millionaire's Raffle Ticket draw Camelot will make on Friday 12th November. On that night, in addition to the normal huge Euro millions jackpot and other prizes, Camelot guarantee that 10 UK tickets will be chosen, each winning £1million. So do get your tickets early!

Saturday, 30 October 2010

Pat's back from Florida

Pat, from the Keelby Shop, has just returned from a 3-week holiday with her family in Florida. She says it was "awesome". The weather was very hot, though!

Monday, 18 October 2010

More Hallowe’en Jokes

Why don't you want to play Dracula's cricket team?
Because they're stiff opposition.
What do they call people who go to watch Dracula's cricket team play?

The Fang Club.

Monday, 11 October 2010

Getting Spruced Up at Keelby

We're getting our window frames painted up at Keelby, so we'll soon look very smart!

Monday, 4 October 2010

Hallowe’en Jokes

Why don't you want to play Dracula's cricket team?

Because he might use his Vampire Bat.

Monday, 27 September 2010

Gannet at Great Limber

Jayne was walking the dog when she spotted a young gannet with a damaged wing in the Limber Village Hall car park. She rang the RSPCA and an officer retrieved the bird. The RSPCA man said the bird might have a damaged wing, but there was nothing wrong with the beak - he got a nasty peck. These are big, powerful sea-birds with a wing-span of up to 6 feet - rather him than me!

Something similar happened in October 2007, when Jayne was walking the dog early one morning. The dog (a very small terrier) jumped on a dark shape by the side of the pond only to find it was an angry gannet, twice the size of the dog. Rapid retreat!

Saturday, 11 September 2010

Cruella de Ville – Disney’s 101 Dalmatians

We have learned that one of our former paper-girls at Limber has graduated from the Blackpool Academy for Performing Arts and is now playing Cruella De Ville (the baddy in 101 Dalmatians) at Disneyland Paris. Rather good!

We are Village Stores

Disney Books

Back by popular demand, the Grimsby and Scunthorpe Telegraphs are issuing another series of colourful children's books. Each week's book tells the story of a favourite Disney film in pictures - "Finding Nemo" is free with the Telegraph on Tuesday 14th September (regular price for the books is £3.49).

We are Village Stores

Wednesday, 8 September 2010

Telegraph Canvassers update

The Grimsby Telegraph canvassers have now been round the village, and many folks have signed up for a 5-week trial. The Telegraph are issuing booklets with 5 weekly vouchers in them - each week bring the vouchers along to the shop and you can receive a great discount of £1.08 off your paper bill. It's a great offer, and we are very pleased to help anyone take advantage of it.

We are Village Stores

Monday, 30 August 2010

Another Joke

A nun in a convent goes rushing in to see the Mother Superior. "Reverend Mother, a case of syphilis has been found in the Convent!" she says, horrified. "That's OK," says the Mother Superior, "I was getting tired of drinking Beaujolais all the time!#

We are Village Stores

Thursday, 26 August 2010

Evening Telegraph Canvassers

The Grimsby Telegraph has a team of folks coming round the villages with special money-off deals. We're glad to help if anyone wants to join their cut-price voucher scheme - just let us know!


We are Village Stores

Friday, 20 August 2010

Sunday, 15 August 2010

Limber Summer Fayre

The day went very well: lots of people, and the weather was very good. David won a coconut!

We are Village Stores

Saturday, 14 August 2010

Great Limber Summer Fayre.

As I write, Jayne is busy making cakes. Lots have folks have left prizes for the raffle at our Limber shop. It should be a great day out - the weather looks like it's going to be OK, too.


Jayne and her friend Carmen have made some excellent bracelets and necklaces from special beads and "findings" (clasps etc.) - they have a stand at the Summer Fayre, so do come along and see them.

We are Village Stores

Sunday, 8 August 2010

This is the blog for the Village Stores

This is the blog for the Village Stores. Early days yet, but keep your eye on this feature to keep up to date with all our doings! We are Village Stores